Pastafarista ◘

illuminati666hailsatan:

members of maroon 5

1. adam levine
2. cthulu
3. philip j. fry
4. count chocula
5. your dentist
6. stevie wonder

shibasquad:

*finishes 3 hour long movie*

who am i

h0llo:

School attendance would go up by like 300% if we had cool padded swirly chairs or bean bags instead of ugly blue chairs harder than a pornstars dick

jpgay:

i havent taken a good selfie in like 48 years 

imtoolaceytodoanything:

bondoge:

why do i still have to go to school i thought slavery was abolished in 1865

that’s an interesting fact, where’d you learn that?

princessveroni:

my sexuality is ‘people tell me im cute but no one actually wants to smooch me wtf is wrong with you assholes’

jephahowards:

i wish i was as pretty as my icon

getoffmybloghoe:

jpgay:

getoffmybloghoe:

jpgay:

how do be sad but look cool at the same time?

B(

B)

hilarydank:

*moist breathing on your neck* bazinga 

oomshi:

does this theme make my blog look fat

catholicnun:

i want to talk to you but im ugly

peclro:

i cant believe all dads were born today wow science is amazing

meladoodle:

Hello modelling agency?? yeah my selfie just got 34 notes I think I’m ready to go pro

annawintour:

the only things i remember about 2006 are nelly furtado and fergie

aesthetic-dissonance:

sagihairius:

My mom just informed me that my first word was “quote” so I’m going to make sure my last word before I die will be “unquote”

you have been blessed with a rare and epic opportunity

brookeeverdeen:

HAVE YOU EVER LOOKED BACK ON A FRIENDSHIP AND YOU REALIZED HOW SHITTY THAT PERSON MADE YOU FEEL

YEAH ME TOO 

laugh-addict:

when people are really rude and douchey and everyone still loves them

I’ve got 99 problems and they’re all because I procrastinate.

frosla55:

i have 3 moods:

1. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. ????????????????
3. ????!?!?!!?!!?!?!?!?

schoolpicture:

IF I ILLEGALLY DOWNLOAD I AM THE TRUEST FAN BECAUSE IM RISKING BEING ARRESTED FOR THIS BAND

woofle:

I think being a humor blogger comes so naturally to me because my life is already a joke